267 | The Elevator Pitch + Austin Film Festival Prep Workshop (REBROADCAST)

With the Austin Film Festival coming up next week, we’re revisiting one of our favorite episodes to help everyone attending get ready to share their stories!

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The Austin Film Festival is known for many things — but few are as legendary as its annual 90-Second Pitch Competition, where writers have just 90 seconds to share their stories. In Hollywood, we call that “the elevator pitch” — and it’s more essential than ever.

To unpack what makes a pitch truly land, we’re joined by an incredible lineup: TSL veteran and producer Sheila Hanahan Taylor, Austin Film Festival’s Screenplay Director Alyssa Alvarado, and five brave writers who step up to pitch their hearts out.

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT:

Lorien: Hey everyone, it's Lorien. Austin Film Festival is starting in about a week and a half on October 24th. So to help get you in the AFF mood, we are re-airing episode 156, the Elevator Pitch and AFF prep workshop episode. TSL will be there this year. Meg and I are doing a panel separately and we're doing one together on Saturday the 25th at 4:30 in the SFA ballroom.

And then right after that, right across the hall, we'll be having our annual TSL party at the bar. So we really hope to see you there. So thank you. And as always, you are not alone and keep writing. 

Meg: Hey everyone, welcome back to the Screenwriting Life. I'm Meg LeFauve. 

Lorien: And I'm Lorien McKenna. And today we have a really cool episode.

As many of you know, TSL has been attending the Austin Film Festival for the past two years, and one of the big AFF events each year is their 90-second pitch competition, which is judged by a lot of industry pros, including Meg LaFauve.

Meg: That's right. Uh, because so many of you'll be attending AFF, we wanted to devote an episode to helping you hone your pitch.

But even if you aren't going to the festival, everyone needs to be able to do a quick pitch of their story or what some people in the business call the elevator pitch. We'll be welcoming five pitchers to bring their ideas on air today. Andrew, Sophie, Patty, Jess and Boris. 

Lorien: So whenever we talk about pitching on this show, we almost always talk about producer and friend of the show, Sheila Hanahan Taylor, who will be joining us today making this her third appearance on TSL.

And as most of you already know Sheila, but she is a producer of many movies including the Final Destination franchise. So, hi Sheila and welcome.

Sheila:  Hi team screenwriting life. Love this. I'm very excited to be here and thank you so much. 

Meg: And joining Sheila is AFF screenplay department director, Alyssa Alvarado, who will be able to fill us in on how Sheila's insights specifically operate within the framework of AFF’s pitch competition. So, hi Alyssa. 

Alyssa: Hi. It's really nice to, you know, be here and I'm excited. Cool. 

Lorien: So, uh, before we get started, I wanna go over how the show's gonna go today. So, Sheila is gonna start us off by talking about the importance of pitching, especially this short elevator pitch. Then Alyssa's gonna talk a little bit about AFF and specifically what they're looking for, and then we'll get into our pictures.

All right, so Sheila, 

Sheila: take it away. Hello everyone. So thank you again. I'm thrilled to be here. Um, one of the things that occurred to me is when I came on last time, one of the other episodes, we did talk a little bit about pitching. So I went back to re-listen to that because I didn't want to have a do-over, but I also felt like, oh, there was actually really helpful things on there.

So it's kind of a hybrid. If you've heard that episode, you can definitely re-listen to that and there'll be little tips and pointers that won't be in today's, because we also talked about general meeting pitches in that one, as well as just like bigger, you've really got the whole 10 minutes pitch versus this is 90 seconds.

So. For me today, let's take a second and just talk about great strategies to distill your a hundred page Opus, your Genius into something amazing, but in only really, honestly, like I usually aim for like 65 seconds because then it always turns into 90 because we all lose our minds. Let's be honest when we're trying to get our act together and make it sound awesome in 90 seconds.

So in general, how do you strategize about what to keep, what to include, what to skip, what to not have around? So the things that I love to look at, and you've probably heard this before, but I'll start with my favorite, which is Pitch me the idea. Right. So on some level that just means I, I can't my brain in 90 seconds and your brain can't articulate characters and plots and twists and turns the way that a good five or eight or 10 minute pitch would.

But you can definitely tell me the big beautiful idea in that 90 seconds as your sort of launchpad so that your listener gets, which is my second thing, context, meaning we all want our listener to be able to sort of like put a whole bunch of information in the very back of their brain so that they can actually listen to you and what you really are so excited and really fired up to share.

So in that list of how to put as much to the back of the brain for the listener as you can, telling us the big idea upfront, and it can be the big idea, meaning I wanna do a story about what it's like to be kidnapped. I mean big idea, but you could also say, I wanna know what it's like when you're really heartbroken.

And I wanted to tell a story about. What happens when you're heartbroken, but you're 80 years old. I mean, you can go anywhere with what the big idea is, whether it's really character or really primary colors, but whatever it is, give us a cool foundation so my brain can start listening. And then context, which is part two, which is tell them why you are obsessed with it or if it was a true story or if you have researched the hell out of it because you realize there's all this data out there and nobody's really capitalized on this kind of story.

So suddenly I'm thinking, huh, wow, they're an expert on this. That's really helpful because I really wanna know who I should hire or who I should read. And if there's somebody who's that into it and really is knowledgeable, what better person to share that story from their point of view? Because they've already done the deep dive.

I mean, we're all looking for great experts, right? So what better way than to get into it that way? So once you sort of lay out that and get your talk context, then. For 90 seconds if you had to really, really distill it down for me it's all about character and what the character sort of to use all the great terms we use on this show, which is like, what's the character's movement?

Where do they start, where do they end? What's their thing in the beginning? And like what are we gonna throw at them along the way to help them sort out this thing? Whether it's like a deep belief that they need to like get a thousand other people on board with, or it's like a really heartbreaking misbelief that we need to help them unwind and get out of their brain so that they can become the new, better, more informed, honest person that they were meant to be by the end either way.

So if I can get a big handle on who that character is, what they think about themselves. How the world actually sees them, because that's really what it's all about, right? What is the audience seeing in them versus like how do they perceive themselves? And once we get that, for me, the last big cherry on top for an awesome 90 minute pitches, and what's the hook?

What's the, however, or did you notice? Or maybe that helps us go, wait a minute now I'm really in, because you just figured out a way to put this character in like the most sticky situation you could ever put them in. You're gonna challenge everything they think about themselves or the world depending, and you're gonna make them go through this crazy journey.

And it's a way that I haven't really heard before, or it's a way that you are the expert on, so you're gonna really inform it from a very, very loving and passionate way because you do know your stuff. So that's sort of my, my thing, right? So it's character hook, why you're the expert, why you're passionate about it, and give me context so my brain can just relax.

And enjoy what you're sharing with us because at the end of the day, this whole 92nd thing, and Alyssa, you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression it always came from we want you to build a rapport with somebody. We want you to have a good relationship with somebody. But like you can't go shoving a screenplay up their nose right away.

So they need to know that you like play well with others and you need to like understand that they're actually like normal. So the more you get to hang out and be chatty and seem like you get it is really what is the groundwork for the two months later when you say, Hey, I finished that script. Would you wanna take a look at it?

So I love to show in 90 seconds that I play well with others. So that would be my quick short, but sweet lay of the land. If that helps everybody get ready to pitch their little hearts out here. 

Meg: I love it. I love it.

Lorien: I'm gonna use it. I was taking notes, I was also watching the pitchers here take notes and I was like, oh no.

Meg: We might have just terrified them. I pitch whenever you have prepared, it's not like we expect you to take what she said and now quickly off camera, be switching. Just pitch what you have. That's what it's here for for me. 

Sheila: That's perfect. No, it's perfect. Especially because this is only 90 seconds and like the whole point is to come here and play today and like this is the nicest room ever.

It's like the kindest room. I mean, listen, I've been to things like the hardcore marketplaces, the AFMs and the Venice, and this, oh my gosh, not the nice rooms. So here we are. There's a lot of love here. Happy, happy to, uh, just help you remember some of the 10, like the little tick boxes that you need to hit.

And, uh, otherwise this is gonna be really fun, I swear to God. 

Meg: And Sheila, before we get into the specifics, um, about AFF, can you just talk really quickly about where in your experience have you done an elevator pitch? Oh, like for our listeners who are thinking, well, I'm never gonna have to do this, you know?

Sheila: Right. Because I'm never going, I'm never gonna go to a market, I'm never gonna go to a full. Right. 

Meg: But in my experience, you're doing them all the time. You're writing them in programs, whatever. Can you just talk about when you've used them? 

Sheila: So that's a great question. So the key to, to me for 92nd pitches is it truly runs my life, but I always work with writers and directors and actors.

So it's not like, oh, it's a producer thing. It's truly, if you wanna work in some capacity in this industry, this is sort of the door opener pitch that gets you in at whatever level. Even if it's you're an assistant, you're just trying to get your boss to read a script that you love. You're in your boss's office 15 times being like, did you read that one?

Did you read that one? But I'm also running into old friends. Like I, I live in this happy little neighborhood in Santa Monica that's super friendly, but as we joke, like we could crew four movies four times over with all the parents who are at the grade school. Like it's just full of everybody in Hollywood.

So like you just cannot help it as you're walking home from drop off the kindergartners, you're like, Hey, what do you got going on right now? And everybody, as you're walking your dog, have to have the. 62nd, 92nd pitch because like, these are your neighbors. You don't want them to think you're an idiot. You actually are making a living in the industry or trying to make a living.

So at any point you might have a connection with somebody. And, and I always joke, and I actually joked about this on the last episode, but like in my experience, more movies and TV shows come together in that capacity. Whether you're at a random dinner party, you run into a friend from college, at the grocery store, like my husband's an expert at running into friends at the drugstore, like from 20 years he hasn't seen.

And he comes home, he is like, Hey, he is gonna send you a script. Like it always happens. And you have to have a great pitch no matter what, just so that it does what. Opens the door. 

Meg: And it can also be, so certainly for the industry as a writer, um, people are constantly asking you what you're working on. I mean, it's just constant, right?

So you are having to, even the, you only have a half-baked idea. Some form of this is, it's already starting to crystallize so that you can tell them yes, but also also it, I'm Sheila, but also you are gonna be at AFF as an example. Or we in a place with other writers who are not necessarily pros, be they emerging or just about to break.

And you gotta find your people. You gotta find your tribe. And by doing, by sharing each what you're working on with each other, it's gonna help you find the people who are maybe form a writers group with you, or they might know somebody who knows somebody like so much of AFF or Other Places that you're gonna go, or is about meeting other writers and writers wanna know what you're working on too, right?

We wanna know, uh, and, and relate to that 90 second pitch. So it's not always just about selling, it's about connecting to –

Lorien: I've had writers on the line where someone sort of offhand, oh, I, I'm, you know, I'm in sci-fi genre, but I'm trying to get into this space. I'm like, oh, I'm in that space and I'm trying to write a sci-fi.

So it was like, even just, that was enough to make a connection for us to start, you know, asking each other more questions, just sort of knowing. Who you are, what you're writing, what you're working on is, is it's all about connections. Yeah. Sorry, I just re I just reset what you both had already said, so you're welcome everybody.

Sheila: No, no, no. But Lorien, you're, you're hitting on something else that's really important. You didn't just re-say it. So listen to this. Like, the other thing that I've found is super helpful and why you have to be great at your, your 90 seconds. It also is, helps you on every project you have, number one, but also just about like, what's your thing.

Because what I've also learned is. I then like my rule of introduction, 'cause I'm super Midwest and like my mom's rule when you introduce somebody is you had to say something interesting about them. Like, this is Meg, she's a screenwriter and she works on blah, blah blah. So whatever it is. So it's really easy for me to pitch my friend because I don't ruin their version of 60 to 90 seconds.

Like I actually can encapsulate my buddy. So like we, I was out the other night with some friends and I was with this very, very cool, very fancy New York playwright. And his buddy was like, yeah, he's working on da da dah dah da, and then we can have a whole conversation because it was so cleanly pitched.

So I think 90 seconds helps your circle and your tribe connect with you, but also sell you to other people to just keep the information flowing. 

Meg: The last thing I'll say that's really important about doing this, and this is probably why I don't like doing it, is because it forces you to know your story.

You really to know what the big idea is. To know what the hook is, even if it's an indie film, I'm sorry, there's something in it that you love that has hooked you, even if you don't wanna use the term hook because it feels too commercial, but something has hooked you emotionally to this, uh, story. So having to boil something down to 90 seconds takes skill and you really have to know your story to do it.

So I think that also helps. Um, but, so I would love now to have Alyssa jump in and just talk a little bit from the Austin perspective, maybe where this came from, why you guys do it, what you know, 

Alyssa: expectations. Of course. So it's kind of like an extension of our screenplay competition. It's, you know, we focus more on the context like Sheila said, um, on the context on the story and to get that entertainment point of view.

'cause our pitch competition is happening live. It's during the competition is happening in front of judges, like, and an audience that's more like, that's allowed to come is all the entrance. So giving you that 90 seconds of knowing your story and pitching it to the judges, um, is something that we offer to the writers to like also get them their leg up in the industry.

'cause that's what we're pretty much all about is giving 'em the writers their chance. That opportunity to, you know, show, share their ideas. And like you said, Meg, um, like you meet your people at the Austin Film Festival and knowing your story, 'cause you're gonna be pitching it to all of the people in the festival.

You're gonna be meeting so many people, meeting the panelists and you, you have to know your story that well get them, like, to be like, oh, that sounds interesting. Can I read your screenplay? You know, because that's the whole goal. And, um, but yeah, that's what we focus on is the quality of the idea, the entertainment value and the quality of the pitch.

That's what the judges, um, judge the screen, the pitch on. And you know, they give their, you know, feedback and let you know what worked and what didn't work. And that, that's pretty much a, like a, another opportunity we offer and we want to give new emerging writers. It's much of a. Leg up in the industry as possible because it is such a hard industry to break into and having that pitch, having that, um, one thing that'll help you get in there, I think is really, really good to have when, you know, breaking into the entertainment industry.

Meg: Having been a judge, it really helps you get to know very quickly a person. Mm-hmm. Meaning your idea, I'm another writer, so odds of me asking you to read your script, you know, I'm not gonna, that's not why I'm there, but I, I wanna meet you suddenly. Mm-hmm. Because I'm like, what a cool idea. And you said it so entertainingly and you have such a unique perspective on the world.

And suddenly I'm like, let's go have a drink and let's talk because, uh, and that's, I'm not even saying that's the person who even maybe advanced to the next round. Yeah. Always. Like, so it's also just a way for us to know who you are, um, as a person and, and to see you and, and you are in front of an audience there.

Um, yeah. You are. Sometimes, you know, I've been on different rounds and sometimes there's like 20 people there, and if you're in the final, there's a lot of people there, let's just say a lot. Um, but it's, it's such a warm, um, experience in terms of everybody in that room wants you to succeed. Every, it's a very, AFF in general is a very community.

Connection based thing. It's not really, nobody's there, you know, with knives out, it's very much, um, everybody's gonna be cheering you on, um, as we are going to be doing today. Right now, cheering on our pitchers segue. Um, so, uh, we're gonna let, uh, Sheila and Alyssa do most of the talking. I mean, Lauren, I can't help ourselves, so I'm sure that we'll talk.

Alright, up first we have Andrew. 

Andrew: Hello. How's it going? Can you guys hear me okay? 

Meg: We can. You're good? 

Andrew: All right, so can, can I just jump into it or is that. 

Meg: Yeah, I think so. Just introduce yourself and jump in. 

Andrew: All right. All right, great. My name's Andrew Sra and I’m nervous. 

Meg: Don't be nervous. No pressure.

Andrew: Oh God. This is kind of five seconds already. Um, no, sorry. Um, okay. My name's Andrew Sra. Uh, my project's a horror comedy called Night Owl. That's loosely based on my experiences, is a night shift, uh, production assistant on a reality show. I won't say which one. There's models involved. You get it. Um, it follows a character, uh, named Daniela.

She's in her late twenties like me. She's pa, she's aspiring to be a writer director, but she's been having a really hard time. Um, she's worked hard. She's not seeing the results, losing faith in herself and her confidence that she can actually succeed in this industry. Um, so one day she's asked to cover the overnight shift at the mansion where the show shoots on Halloween night.

She reluctantly agrees wanting to be a team player, hoping it'll earn her brownie points. Let her pitch big movie idea the producer, and let her Hollywood dreams come true. Uh, she's asked to keep an eye on the house until morning, be there in case anything goes wrong, which is what I had to do when I did that job.

Uh, but of course for Daniela, something does go wrong. Um, the contestants start getting picked off one by one in a, by a horrific monster, which turns out to be none other than the host and executive producer of the show who's an actual vampire draining the life force of the people working for him. Uh, I reiterate this is loosely based on a true story, but he didn't expect Daniella, who is at the end of her rope, not taking any more shit to take her job as seriously she, as she does, and put it into his killing spree no matter what the cost, uh, she fights back against him.

Surviving the night goes above and beyond her job title, uh, which she realizes is not what defines her in the first place. I kind of see it as something like Ready or Not meets Fright Night. And I think it's a kind of project that's timely, not only because the entertainment industry, but many entertainment in our many industries.

Workers right now are kind of reassessing their worth and realizing that we're playing this rigged game and we may have, you know, to take some drastic measures to make changes for the better, uh, even if it means killing a few vampires. Um, and that's Night Owl. 

Meg: Yay. Awesome, awesome, awesome. 

Lorien: And that came in at one minute, 54 seconds.

Great job, great job. You can't hear us all laughing, but we're all smiling and laughing, so we just don't wanna interrupt the pitch with all our gawing. 

Andrew: No, thank you. I I, this is something that I've, I've Lian told me about on Friday, and it's an idea that I've been working a little bit but had not really started to put together yet, uh, a pitch for, so, um.

Yeah, this was, it was fun to start putting the, the big pieces together. 

Sheila: Terrific. No, and thank you for going first. It's always 

Andrew: like, 

yeah, be 

Sheila: the first Guinea pig. So deeply appreciate that. By the way, so, Alyssa, I Do you wanna go first? You're welcome to start. I didn't know how, how, how much. 

Alyssa: I mean, I'm happy to go first.

Um, I thought it was pretty, pretty good. It was a good hook. I liked it. And have seeing the character be focused on Danielle and her struggle as being a PA is something that, you know, I'm sure many people have gone through and everything, and I, I did like the story. Um, I would love to read more of it, see where more of the comedy would come from.

But yeah, I, I liked it. 

Sheila: Nice. Excellent. So, okay, so I had more just some like tips. 'cause I agree with Alyssa, like I got it. I think everyone here was laughing and gawing, so we all got it. But for me, a few of the things that I always try to adjust when I do short, short pitches, and again, it's tasters choice by the way, we should put like a giant caveat on this podcast, which is every pitch is different.

Andrew: Mm-hmm 

Sheila: Every listener is different. So sometimes like the formula for one is totally wrong for someone else. So we're gonna learn that today when we hear other people go. But for you, Andrew, I think I wanted to know that it was ready or not meets Fright Night up at the top, because that's for me was context horror.

ComEd's super tricky to pull off and ready or not is one of the best benchmark examples of the last five years. Like I'm a huge fan of that. I love those filmmakers. So that would've made me hear it in a different way. So knowing that right at the beginning, my brain is ready. And then more importantly, and this is sort of again, a taster choice thing, but I, I generally, I come from the school of, I don't love to name two titles, because I think no one knows which part of which title you're referencing, like ready or not has a lot of elements like 

Andrew: Sure, sure.

Sheila: The trapped in a house is cool and there's a crazy game going on. Cool. But like, it's also not at all supernatural and yours is, yeah. So you're sort of like, which elements are we playing with? So I usually use one reference, say how it's different, right. So I'm that school, but that's sort of a, a religion thing.

You can pick which religion you want. It's, I'm, I'm, I'm agnostic. So what –

Lorien: would that look like? It's like Fright Night Plus–

Sheila: Like, I would say it's Ready or Not, but with a supernatural twist. Because then we know trapped in a house, then we know it's gameplay, and then it's over one night, which we know, 'cause that's the premise, that's like the core premise of ready or not.

But with, with a supernatural twist, then my brain is super ready. 'cause that was what else was interesting? 'cause since it's reality TV based, initially I was waiting for it to be a true killer. And so you're using that as an awesome hook, like a twist. Yeah. That's actually a vampire. So I, while I loved it, I was like, Ooh, I would've listed like one degree differently at the top if I'd known it was supernatural from the beginning.

So that's just again, sort of a taster's choice thing. Um, but I think you did an amazing job in that. You gave us upfront how she, how Daniella fits into the world, how she sees herself and what, and what the world thinks of her. So you helped us right away get. That we were in her shoes. Absolutely. And we also, um, I loved your little side notes that, like how you did the same thing.

'cause it, it was what I was joking about before, which is like, now we know you are an expert. For sure. And I loved your humor came through when you said like, I know I said it was loosely based and, but for me, and this is super important, I think you're way funnier than this pitch currently is. Okay. And I'm betting that this script will even be funnier than that And ready or not is super funny.

Yeah. I learned this years ago with one of my pitches. I had somebody who was an amazing, amazing pitcher, um, pitched something to Fox and it was meant to be a comedy, but her pitch was like a bullet out of a chamber. Amazing, cleanest, best pitch ever. And they were like, she's funny as hell. She is funny.

But she didn't pitch me any funny situations to prove to me that in the actual story, something funny was happening. 

Andrew: Gotcha. 

Sheila: That is really the root of my note, meaning, yeah. You, you did all these asides, so like I know you Andrew are hilarious, but when you say like, the boss is actually a vampire, like one funny throwaway to help me get a taste of how absurd and ridiculous your world is, then like I know it'll give you 

Meg: tone too. Like it'll give us the tone of the comedy if you give us a piece of it. 

Sheila: Yeah. Yeah. So just like a little nibble, just a little piece. I would've been like over the moon. So those were sort of my quick, 

Meg: and Sheila, now we, we've told him to add something, but how it's running long, right? So, um, it's almost twice it, it's not twice as long, but it's long.

So how would you help him cut it down? 

Sheila: If it were me, I feel like there was a little chunk in the middle that we, we like it's a little bit wordy that we get it by then. Like we're in, like we know she has to spend the night. We know she's gonna do this to get a good, hopefully get good perks in her job and move her career forward.

So I bet you in that little section you could tighten that up. 'cause to me that's a shorthand. Everybody wants to move ahead in their job. Everybody does things for their boss that aren't their favorite things in order to move ahead. So I feel like that's where our brains can fill in the blank. 'cause that's the other sleigh of hand for me that a good 92nd pitch.

You are taking advantage of the fact that we all love movies and we love tv. So we're gonna hyperspace through some of that middle, because like we've seen enough shows in this vein. So your job is to emphasize the stuff that's like slightly unique and special to yours. 'cause that's the part we have, we need you to fill in.

Lorien: I had a question around that. Like I got it in the middle, but then at the end when he was sort of wrapping it up, Andrew, when you were wrapping it up, it felt like maybe I didn't need all those details about how it was gonna wrap up. It was more like, and now she has to fight the vampire. And I like the part where then you got to, um, maybe her job title isn't her value.

Andrew: Mm-hmm. And how 

Lorien: wrapped it up. But the, is that the part you're talking about when you know she has to, it was like a double beat. There was two moments of like doing her job and proving herself in there. Is that what you're talking about, Sheila? Were those 

Sheila: I think so, but it's also just in the middle when she like agrees to the terms of staying overnight and why she, why like her motive.

I think we can tighten that up. And then yes, the payoff at the end of the pitch would reflect some of that tightening up. So you, you caught it on one end and I caught it on the other Lorien.

Meg: And one thing that I do, again, dealer's choice. Um, I wanna know what relationship is going on because that's why people go to the movies.

We go to the movies for the scares and the jumps and the comedy. I get that. And their entertainment. I and your pitch has that, but I don't know, is this really like a mono a man? It's her versus the vampire. That'll be super fun. Is it her? With a bunch of ding bad people that she has to protect. Like I, I, I wasn't quite getting where is the juice of the relationship?

And I would want more time with that, even in the sample of the comedy. Like I, maybe I'm saying it that way. Yeah. I, I want less details of the, of the setup and more in the, in the comedy piece. You pick, I'd pick something that has to do with relationship or the, or the main anti, like what is the, you know, that main thing in the center of this relationship juice wise.

Right. Um, because that's what we're gonna, we go from I'm interested, I like it too. Oh my God, I gotta read that. Or I love it because of that moment you described between these two people or her and the vampire or her the ding bat and the vampire. Right. Like what's the fun moment of that relationship?

Sheila: Emotion always wins over plot in these short ones for sure. Um, for sure. And then one last little thing that just occurred to me while Meg was saying she would love to have understood those dynamics and if she was the ding having to sag all the ding bats is, and again this is where we practice, we practice like crazy to get a good 92nd pitch in terms of like trading out certain sections and, and filling and boosting up other sections.

Like it doesn't all need to totally be overhauled Sometimes it's like, oh, strategically switch these two sentences and it all clicks. But the one thing I realized when Meg was just sharing was at some point somebody's gonna wanna know, not only are you an expert on the reality show PA being put upon, but that you're also slightly obsessed with vampires like that, you know.

The expectations. So when Meg mentioned like, oh, is she helping save a bunch of ding bets in that character moment? That's funny. We can also emphasize that you like understand the rules of vampire movies, so now you're 

Meg: reinventing it, right? Yeah. Like I, I don't wanna just see the same old vampire. So in that piece that you pick that's funny and relationship, you're also somehow showing me this isn't the normal vampire that you're used to or, and you do that, I guess you do that because it's her boss.

But I just, I thought it could go in terms of what she's Sheila's saying, the vampire allure that you are, you're really good with and know. Sure. Yeah. 

Jeffrey: Amazing. Excellent job, Andrew. Great job, Andrew. 

Meg: Awesome. Thank you guys so much. Solid job. Thank you. I would love 

Jeffrey: to see that movie. So good news. Thank you.

Okay. 

Meg: Uh, Sophie, you're up, Sophie. 

Sophie: Hi, I'm just gonna fingers crossed that you guys can't hear any of the dogs in the background because one of them does sound like a fizz gig from the dark crystal and she's really irritating in that. So hopefully she stays quiet. 

Sheila: We cannot hear dogs. You're fine. 

Sophie: Alright, great. Okay, so I've been working on this feature for basically the whole summer and it's an action drama called Babbitt. Uh, and it's about found family, so it opens, and a young man is shot dead in a Portland farmer's market and Detective Hobbes is on the case. And in mean Los Angeles, 22-year-old Annika Varma and her meet Professor Chris Henry and their ambush by undercover agents in a coffee shop shootout.

They escape and Chris reveals that his name is really Roy Warren and he's a spy on the run. After an op gone wrong, Annika sneaks a phone call to her father, mob boss, Taj Barma, who informs her that Roy is on his hit list. And Annika agrees to lead Roy to him in Detroit. Well, while they're lying low in a hotel room, Annika learns that her brother Archie, was the one shot dead in the farmer's market and has a panic attack.

Roy comforts her, uh, Roy's agency, then apprehends them, and they're interrogated by director Larissa Lowry manipulates Annika into revealing family secrets and informs Roy that Annika is leading him into a trap. However, undeterred Roy sticks with Annika and they bust out of the agency in Flee to Portland, uh, where they looked to tie the loose ends of Archie's murder.

Annika admits that she was leading Roy to her dad, um, but since her panic attack will, uh, will, will vouch for him. So when, when they get to Portland, detective Hobbes, who's now on Barman's payroll, uh, catches them and delivers them to Varma in Detroit, where Varma Detains Roy and informs Annika that, um, that his death, that Roy's death will keep family, the the family business in the dark and that varma.

And Varma reveals. Oh my goodness. Barbara reveals that he, uh, is the one responsible for Annika's brother's death after he revealed family's secrets. And that Annika has to be the one to kill Roy if she wants to secure her place in the family. In the end, Annika chooses Roy and they gets the upper hand in a scuffle and they turn bra over to the agency and return to California where they begin to process their shared trauma together.

Lorien: Great job. 

Meg: Great job. So thank you. Thank you. 

Jess: Yeah. We came in at one one minute, 46 seconds. Great job. Amazing. And no 

Sheila: dogs. 

Meg: We did not hear dogs. 

Sheila: We 

Meg: didn't hear any dogs. Totally fine. 

Sophie: I can hear them, so I'm glad you guys can't hear them. 

Meg: Sophie, can you tell, can you tell us a comp? 

Sophie: So I, I go back and forth about this. I'm not sure that it's my favorite comp in the world, but it is the one that I've stuck with, uh, lately. I've described it as, uh, the Tom Cruise movie, Night and Day Meets Finding Nemo. 

Meg: Okay. That's tricky. Yeah, that is tricky. Um, yeah, because for me, I got so lost in the details. And here's the trick about a 92nd pitch.

This is for everybody. I'm not gonna remember names, so I'm not gonna remember who's who. Like, it would be better if you say daughter and truck driver than Roy and who, because I, I, I, and you're going so fast, right? That it just becomes like a river going by. And it's interesting how, because I'm not emotionally involved, your brain just goes out.

It's funny. It's like, just checks out. And that's not about you, Sophie, that's just about anybody telling a story, right? So for me, there was so many details that it just becomes mud in a way. Like, I, I can't keep up with it 'cause I can't keep up with who's what. It's almost like to think of a 92nd pitch, more like a summary, right?

And uh, it's really 30, it's 60,000 feet. It's really high up on in terms of globally looking at something. Sheila, I love if you could take her through your, um. The things that you talked about and see if we can take what we heard and, and, and, and just, and I, I get Sophie, I'm putting you on the spot. Um, just could you, could you go through and just get, find each piece?

Lorien: Yeah, let's, let's do it. 'cause that's what I was gonna track. I just wanna respond to what I was connecting to on it. What I grabbed onto was the idea that a woman's brother was killed and that they were related to the mob and that there was an undercover agent on the run involved. Those two characters put together sort of seemed really interesting me, interesting to me.

And that that's what I was able to pick out from your pitch. Like, oh, these two characters, they're forced together. And I liked that. 

Sheila: Okay, so I totally agree with Lorien by the way. So I wanna go through and break down, but can we take two seconds right before we do the breakdown of your, your work?

'cause you did some really great work and just talk about a few other things to, to maybe steer clear of for universally on pitches. So for me, I like that you, 'cause we're, we're all connecting here and this is like a, a dynamic you're hoping to forge. So you were like, Hey, I've been working on this all summer and that was safe because summer's here, you're in summer.

That's cool. But I generally advise writers and directors and actors to not mention how long they've been working on something because, uh, really quickly it becomes four years and then it sounds like you don't have your act together. So I just like generally just be like, I have something that I've really lately been really in, into, you know, so I would sort of stay in that space and then to be, to be really bratty about Tom Cruise Night and Day is a flop, so you're not allowed to mention it.

And this is what's another cool thing for everybody to get their head around. It made like I, if I recall, like 2 65, 2 70 worldwide, which is a ton of money, but they spent way too much on it. Memory serves. It was about an $80 million film. And when you start adding marketing that is and and paying Tom Cruise first dollar box office, gross.

And probably Cameron do you guys probably got 20 million for that film? Lots. So we have to always do a quick deep dive on your comps to make sure that they were either critical successes like award winners or something fancy and cool or like really, really slayed at the box office. So, so let's find a new comp for you, which we're gonna do right now.

But those were my two sort of like quickies. So, okay. So yes to Meg's point, it's tricky to keep track of specific names, but what I also like also is for these short pitches, like three characters max, but for sure adjectives, right? Like adjectives will help me be like, oh, the domineering mob boss or you know, the put upon daughter like, and I'm good and I don't have to keep track of names, so, so if I got it right, we have Anna.

Wait, is it Anna Bella? What is what I just wrote Monica. There we go. Ika. Ika. That's right. So Annika and Chris Coffee shop. Right. So tell me what her worldview is as we get started. 'cause that's what I was trying to get a handle on 'cause I was getting a good location and sort of their vibe, but let's take it break.

Beat by beat. 

Sophie: Yeah. So this was something I kind of wrestled with when I was coming up with a summary, even as a whole, just because I like included more of this originally and then cut it in favor of other things and then kind of wish I didn't. But, um, so originally, like the scene, the thing that I had cut was that, uh, the first time that you see her, she's hiking by herself and that she's content to take care of herself, Uhhuh.

Um, so that's kind of her worldl through going into it and then kind of shit hits the fan and, uh, it becomes whether or not she really can and whether or not she needs to ask for help. 

Meg: Right? So she's a, so that's her pulse of her character is she's somebody who I take care of myself and I don't care, take care of anybody else.

And now I need someone to take care of me and I have to take care of someone else. Is that, what's the, what's the emotional pulse?

Sophie: Uh, just that she could take care of herself is the. 

Sheila: Is where she starts, but where she does she end, uh, 

Sophie: she ends with needing to ask for help because she realizes that it's okay to do that.

Sheila: Got it. And then for me, I agree. I actually think I understand subconsciously why you didn't include her on the hike. Because what, what's tricky, tricky for the, the polls you're describing, which is she starts out super independent and it's actually her flaw, and then she actually needs to have help to be a full person.

I'm confused where her relationship with her dad factors into it. Because the whole journey of this movie is she for some reason is willing to turn in this guy to her dad who's a mob boss, which feels really subservient already. So I don't a, I don't quite understand why she's independent at the beginning, but more moreover, I'm like, what kind of daughters like, is she all mobbed up too?

Like we need to understand what her, her devotion and her loyalty is to help dad on this quest. Uh, 'cause that's not her story. She just like literally delivering somebody to dad. So help me understand a little bit more in that space for a second. 

Sophie: Um, to be honest, I feel like it's gonna be kind of difficult to unpack just because of how much information I know I have in this script.

Um, and I'm a little hesitant to do it because I feel like I'll be way too wordy and, uh, uh Got it. Okay. Okay. But the risk for the risk of that, I, I prefer just to kind of glaze over it. 

Sheila: No, totally. So the quick short answer is, is she in with her dad or out with her dad in, at the beginning? She's in, yeah.

So she, as soon as she finds out that Chris is actually the spy on the run and he is got an alias and all that stuff, she's like, Woohoo, payday. Yeah, I can go take her to my dad. So I think it's really more in that setup that we needed just a little more clarity. 'cause just all of a sudden I'm like, wait, why is she taking this guy to her dad and willing to go like on this cross country crazy journey?

But if you just make it like very much more clear that she's like her father's daughter. 

She, you know, as much as she's in the family, meaning wink, wink, the mob, she's really an independent soul, which is what a woman in the mob needs to be in 2023. Now, I sort of have a better handle on like who she is and what her mindset is.

To then be like, oh, and then opportunity falls in her lap when this guy, Chris confesses to her after this crazy shootout and this like, stressful moment that he's actually this spy. Right? Yeah. So then the next question I had was in the middle of this was if he's a spy on the run, he's not a very good, like, he's not very good at this.

If he suddenly is getting taken on by this mob daughter and delivered to dad, like most, I mean, we're all trained to watch Jason Bourne and like he could get out of anything, any jam. So help me understand more why Chris doesn't get wind of why he should get the hell out of there or not be in the mix.

So I understand what the, the reason I'm asking is I wanna know what the, the, the true conflict between them is. That's driving Act Two's decision making. 

Sophie: So I, I view it as he thinks he is a better spy than he actually is. Okay. So that's kind of his direction is he thinks I can take, I can take care of this in this kid.

Yeah. And then, 

Sheila: okay, you just did something so cool. I can't even tell you, Sophie, you just made my day. Okay. So this is one of my favorite things that happens in pitches when, when we get to like, dig around and play Nancy Drew and I ask questions like this really cool things that should have been in the pitch come out.

So what you just said is to me, like a dream come true pitch catchphrase, which is, so we meet this guy Chris, he ultimately confesses, he's actually a spy on the run. But Chris' real problem is he thinks he's a better spy than he is. Boom. Like I am in, you just handed me a total journey in like 30 seconds, like less than 30 seconds.

So like more of those little turns of phrase to me are the, the bread and butter of how to make an awesome 92nd pitch. Because now guess what? We have a super independent girl whose daddy's girl who's dialed into the mob, who's now got like this giant fish on the hook with this dude who has a bounty on his head, who's got a big ego, who thinks he can get out of anything, and she's gonna absolutely prove him wrong at every turn.

How cool is that? Now I understand what the hook is, right? Okay, so now take me into the trap part of this. Let's talk a little bit more about that. Can you tell us again, 'cause again, you were going really fast. Like Meg said, I got a little bit lost with names and stuff like that. Right? So tell us about the turn, which is your trap.

Sophie: Um, so the idea behind it is again, that she's trying to get, I think, tighter tied her into the family. And I think it's kind of like her turn, like I, that she spends time away from it and then you can't really es she can't really escape it. 

Sophie: Uh, so then she gets, uh, Chris Roy, my spy character dude, um, kind of on that hook and then says.

Great. This is, this is my chance to be able to actually do this. And because he is gonna like her dad's being daddy's girl, basically, he's always taken care of me, so now I have to do this. So it's more of the obligation, um, for her to do what her dad has said. 

Sheila: Got it. Okay. So, so for me, when I was trying to get a handle on the hook, like I understood the hook from the beginning, which was like, this, this young woman is mob, like a mob daughter who outta nowhere ends up with like the, the most catchy of catches.

This, this spy who's, you know, on the wanted list of for her dad, not the FBI, but the, the mob wanted list. And they're gonna, she's gonna do her best to deliver to him. But this, this handoff got tricky with who she was at the beginning, meaning I, I didn't understand why suddenly this was an issue because it wasn't as clear who she was at the setup.

So I think this is part of like really declaring who somebody is at the beginning. So when you get to what is the twist. Or the true moment where they have to make a crucial decision or, or lean into who they're trying to avoid being or whatever the case is that we've gotten such a great that, you know, some, some old school writers be like, well, you have to just lay a lot of pipe.

You gotta set it up and lay all the pipe so then you can like pay it off later. Um, but that would help me understand more character and hook in the, in the best way possible. 'cause I think that you've got something cool, like your energy and your passion for it is coming through. It was just like we got overwhelmed with all the names and all the details because it didn't feel as much of a pitch me the idea, not the story.

It was more pitch me the story right now. Mm-hmm. So we need to take it up a level and be like, this is a daughter who does this, who has this opportunity with this guy who's gonna then have to face off with her dad, which she didn't expect to. Right. I think that would help me feel more of an idea. 

Meg: Yeah. I think, I think too, if take uh, Sheila's advice, if you were to pitch this for 90 seconds and pitch the big idea first.

Especially because once you get into mafia, people's brains are gonna go because they've seen so many movies. Right? So if you pitch me the big idea and then you tell me it's a mafia movie, and then you give me tone, which a spy who's not as good as he thinks he is, could be funny. So tone suddenly becomes important, right?

Um, then you can get more into the, you know, big catch stuff and my brain will understand how, where you want me, uh, in the story, if that makes sense. So I think the most important thing is to figure out how to pitch and get that really quick, big idea at the top. Cool. Cool. Really great. Thank you, Sophie.

Lorien: Yeah, 

Sheila: yeah, this is, this is on its way without a doubt. So super fun. 

Lorien: Alyssa, did you have anything to add? 

Alyssa: Yeah, so at the beginning you mentioned like found family, but then started talking about her actual family. So I was still wondering like who her found family would be. Would that be Roy and Chris? And then you also mentioned the Detective Hobbs, but then he was in the beginning, but then he was never mentioned, I don't think, like I like everyone else, I got lost in the details, but he wasn't really mentioned again, so I wouldn't even, like in the pitch, he doesn't seem like an important enough character to be in the pitch and just focus on the, the daughter, the father, and the spy I think would be the best.

Jeffrey: Excellent. Thank you you so much, Sophie. Thank you so much for sharing. Really appreciate it. 

Lorien: Great job. Welcome to the show. Would you like to introduce yourself and deliver your 92nd pitch? 

Patty: For sure. Thank you. Um, hi. My full name is Patricia Riga, but I also go by Patty. And um, as you can tell from my accent, I am Mexican and also I'm wearing a Barbie hat and I have a Malem in Tattoo two, which means that I'm also a proud member of the LGBT community.

So when I first arrived to the States, I was completely lost. Luckily for me, a college friend from back home who had also moved here gave me a whole rundown of how to be queer and Latino in America. So he taught me how to dress, what drinks to order at the bars, how to speak, what place I should go to.

But the one lesson he put above all else was how to get a husband, because when you're 20 something broke Mexican immigrant trying to make it in the States you need married often seems as the easiest way to get your All American happily ever after. But is it really. The experiences I lived with my friend inspired the show I've been working on, which is titled Foreign Love and the series centers around a group of Latino immigrants from the diverse backgrounds, um, navigating the brutal dating scene from gay America as they seek to obtain a green card through marriage before immigration gets to them.

So essentially think of the show as Sex and the City, but with Hispanic immigrants instead of upper class white ladies. And throughout the series we'll explore the hilariously tragic reality of the hundreds of immigrants who arrive every year to the states looking for what matters most love and papers.

Um, so this is foreign love. 

Meg: Yay. Great job. Great job. 

Jess: Awesome. One minute and 38 seconds. Great job, Patty. 

Lorien: Wow. 

Sheila: Amazing. Go ahead. She. Oh, you, I, I'm starting. Okay, I'll start. That was great, Patty. Um, you did some things that really helped us get our brain ready to listen to the, your, your 90 seconds, which is half the trick.

So No, no, it was super helpful, um, because in this case, like we really needed to know who you were first before we understood what story you had, like the skill and the expertise to tell. So to, for you to launch with like your Barbie and your tattoo took us right there. We're like, okay, he not only loves this idea, but he's the right person to share his point of view on this, which is a terrific, you know, again, starting place for any of these pitches, which is great.

Um, and then even though you didn't mention the tone till way later, like the Sex and the City with Latino immigrants, oh, I think we got the tone from your introduction also. So it's like a beautiful sort of magic trick all in one, which was terrific. Um, and helped us right away understand like, your energy was gonna be all over this thing, right?

Your fingerprints were in every moment of this pitch. So that was terrifically helpful. Um, and then I kind of liked the, the, the twist on it, which is like you had a friend who is leading you through all the ways to, you know, survive in la yet the real trick was it's how to get a husband. So to me, your hook was like right up front as well.

So I, I then could like settle in and listen. So I like, I think you did a great job. Like I really, I like. I kind of have no notes, to be honest. Um, in the scheme of things, truly it was great. I think the only thing that I would want is because you made such a great comp with sex in the city, but instead of like rich white women from Manhattan, it's going to be immigrant, you know, immigrant Latinos on a shoestring budget.

One fun example of that, so instead of being at the fancy bar drinking cosmos, which is like, what, what Sex and the city is super famous for, you're like, we're in somebody's backyard in Echo Park drinking Papst Blue Ribbon or something. Like, just give us like a sense of sort of how your world is really gonna look.

Yeah, because that's the show. The TV world is what is gonna sell a show, right? Like, like we could have a whole nother episode on like, but you've had many amazing guests already talk about this, but like, the world is key in tv. So much so, because a brain of an executive has to be like, wow, I can see 50 episodes, I can see a hundred episodes.

And most of that is in like, how does this world work? What's the state of the world? What's the mindsets of the inhabitants of this world? So the, the sooner you can help us just get a few of those out there, then I'm like, I'm all in. Right? So with that, I'm gonna hand it off to some of our other brilliant, uh, advisors.

Meg: The only other thing I would've loved to have had, and I know you're right at the edge of time, um, so if, if you had to, and I loved everything, but if I had to cut something, I'd cut maybe a little bit of your friend introducing you to get this in the show is just some character relationships, some what am I tuning in every week for, you know, um.

Uh, something emotional in the show about the characters. Um, 'cause I got, I, I agree with, uh, Sheila. One more slight detail on the world, but I just wanted a tiny more step into. Them, uh, uh, and, and the characters in the show, but that, that might be niggling. So, 

Sheila: No, no, no. Meg, I think you're right. There's a shorthand there where you could literally be like, so as soon as I got to America, I had to figure out how to survive in the us.

Like you maybe, I know you wanna give a shout out to your friend who helped, but there's a way to streamline that a little bit, and that'll buy you back like 10 or 12 seconds, which is about all you need to build in a character to be, it's like –

Meg: If I was pitching Sex in the City, I'd pitch everything like you did, and then I'd say, and here's my three main characters.

And I would just quickly with words and adjectives be like, her, her, her and her, and we're gonna see them, you know, every week trying to do this or whatever. Um, so I think that might be worth it for a TV show to let me know who those characters are gonna be. But, um, Alyssa or Lian, jump in. 

Lorien: I was thinking you could do that in the, the detail, the specifics, like, we're in the backyard, Echo Park of this friend's house who hosts parties every, I mean, I know that's wordy, but sort of establishing what the world of the show is and what those relationships are.

Jeffrey: Can I ask a question about that? Yeah. Because I was thinking like, could you ever Sheila, like be like, so picture in one episode rather than being in a bougie hotel, we're in the backyard of Echo Park and Carlos, the fun like, or the the crazy one needs to blah blah, blah. As like an example, maybe like referring to one of your favorite episodes in the season could be an interesting way to show us Yeah.

Meg: Or even like what the episode's about he's going to have to, so I kind of get a sense of the show episodes. Yeah. And the character. Yeah. 

Sheila: Pitching. Pitching 90 seconds for TV is extra tricky to be honest. So you just accomplished like a very. Tricky special thing. So well done, well done. You. Um, but Megan and Jeff are right, meaning normally you do need to unpack a little bit more just for everybody to understand how this, the mechanics work.

Because the big thing about all great television is there's a beautiful engine that's recreated every single episode. So by taking a half second and leaning into like the, like, this is where the tropes of sex in the city are your best friend, meaning it's all about sex, relationships, friendship, and social life, right?

Like those are sort of your four, four tenets of sex in the city. Maybe five is wardrobe. Um, and you can almost mock that and be like, we're gonna talk about sex and relationships and friendships and wardrobe, but we're gonna do it in the back park of an back, you know, backyard of an Echo Park house with Carlos.

He's our lead, he's this and this, and with his best friend Walter, who's this and this and this. And every week we're gonna go down that rabbit hole. And that's kind of, that gives us the idea that there's a hundred episodes of friendship there. 

Alyssa: Yeah, I, I agree with Meg and Sheila and y'all that I would've liked to know more about the characters.

'cause the world was great. Like I loving the world, but I wanted to know the people that were living in this world specifically. So that's, other than that, it was really, it was really good 

Meg: pitch. And Patti, it's a great example of what Sheila was talking about, that sometimes it's literally word choice, right?

Like these five words take out to put these five words in. Like it's, I know you're like, oh my God, you're adding shit to my, to my, to my pitch. But you're that, that's why every word, it's like a poem almost, right? Like, I don't really actually need to say this 'cause it's repeating the same information as this, even though I love both.

So I have to take out that to add stuff in. So that's, we're really talking about chiseling in now into that poem kind of experience. 

Sheila: Make every word count for sure. Um, and, and the other thing that's really tricky about a 92nd TV pitch, but again, you did it, so again, good on you, but I just wanna underscore what you did also is TV because the voice of the writer is, is the real reason these buyers get into business on it.

So again, for you, starting with your, Hey, this is me, here's my Barbie hat, here's my tattoo. I had to figure out how to do this. It also told me as a, as a creator, you were bringing a voice, which is in, it's sort of, it is sort of the TV equivalent of tone. Um, 'cause a lot of writers in TV have to literally say like, why me?

And you were able to, in your shorthand, do a version of that, which is great, 

Meg: which I think is important for any 92nd pitch. And again, dealer's choice, do whatever you want. But every time I pitch or I love a pitch, there is something very personal that they start with, right? Like, Sophie, I'm just gonna use you.

Like if you had said, this is crazy, but my dad's in the mafia. I would've been like in, you could have said anything. And I would've been like, what? Really? Oh my God. Tell me more, Sophie. Again, I'm just using that as a crazy example. Um, it really helps. So it really did help. I don't cut that part of the pitch, I guess pot is what we're saying because.

It really was like, bang, we got it. It gave us tone, it gave us the show, gave us you, why You can write it like so much. So that was great and that really, I think that always helps everybody lean in. And plus, if you're going to a f or you're trying to meet people, I wanna know who you are. Like I, you know, I wanna go up to you afterwards and buy you a drink and tell 'em, tell me more about it.

Lemme see that tattoo, right? Like there, it's really important to keep it somewhat, uh, personal too in these kinds of situations. 

Jeffrey: Great job, hotty. That was really fun. 

Meg: All right, next up we have Jess. Jess, welcome to the show. 

Jess: Hi everybody. I'm hoping my audio is good. I have my ear pods in and you can never trust that.

Um, you sound great Jess. So yeah, take a breath and 

Jeffrey: then when you're ready, I'll, I'll hit start. Yep. 

Jess: Cool. Okay. Well, my future, there'll be better days as a coming of age drama about a college student whose personal vlog goes viral after her time spent in a psychiatric hospital. So she finds herself having to juggle her own mental health while being a voice for the voiceless.

I connect to this story because I myself, have spent time in a psychiatric hospital and feel comfortable sharing the vulnerability that comes with the experience. Struggling to process a heart shattering breakup while also trying to cope with her depression. 21-year-old Christina finds herself checking herself into a psychiatric hospital.

Christina only spends a short time in the hospital and re is released even though she does not quite feel prepared to return to the real world. Hoping this solution will help. Christina's therapist recommends she starts taking video journals of herself video, encouraging her to speak honestly about the current state of her mental health.

She reluctantly agrees and begins to record herself every night. Unfortunately, for Christina, her best friend, Jenny accidentally uploads one of her vlogs on YouTube. When Christina asks her to help post a video assignment she has due for a class overnight, Christina becomes viral with many looking to her for the reassurance and security that Christina so desperately needs.

Christina must come to terms with the gravity of her situation and risk not only her newfound fame, but the relationship she shares with the people she loves most. So Christina is faced with a choice. Does she pretend she's okay by continuing to share her most vulnerable thoughts on the internet? Or does she face her fear of loving herself again?

Meg: Great job, Jess. Thank you so much. 

Jeffrey: You actually came in under, we have you at 1:21, so Ooh, you got 

Meg: –some space. Oh, all right. Throw in those adjectives. I love it. I just wanna say something and I thought you did a great job. I thank you so much. I love it that the pitch is vulnerable. Um, I love that you put yourself and allowed us, uh, uh, that part of the pitch.

And I think that's awesome. It does make me lean in. It does make you the expert. Um, the only thing, and this is more, I'm gonna use this as a example for everybody listening and Sheila, tell me if you disagree. 'cause maybe you do, which I would love it. Then we can get into a fight. I find, and I think a lot of people are told this in school or wherever.

Um, tell me the logline and I don't know that that is always the best thing because loglines inherently are dry. They're inherently, I. Something to read on a page in coverage when somebody needs to cheat and not read a script. You know what I mean? Like this is more of a selling, this is more of a, a campfire experience of, oh my God, you guys, you're never gonna believe what happened to me when I was 15 years old.

Let me tell you the night that my father blah, blah, blah, you know, killed the bear. Whatever. Like, and I want you to kind of tell me a story around a campfire. Again, I'm talking to everybody, not just, uh, Jess versus tell me a log line. So I think a lot of people get bad advice about that. That's my opinion.

And I would love if Alyssa and Sheila disagree, that's completely fine. Um, but I would just, that's my only little thing off the top. And then I'll let Sheila and Alyssa talk. But that's what I would be careful about. I'd rather you tell me a story around a campfire of something that's super compelling than here's my log line.

So. 

Sheila: So, yeah, no, Meg, sadly I can't get in a fight with you 'cause that's like my number one thing when I go work at all the labs before they go to festivals and I help everybody get ready to do the five day festival. Gauntlet is exactly that. I say like, you've spent now like three years raising money for your movie.

You've filled out 900 forms and you've written your log line so many times. It's so not interesting and so dry and you have so much more that you can bring to it. So like I truly work with filmmakers all the time to do exactly what Meg is talking about, which is let, like if, if, if this was live and, and I was in person with you, Jess, I would make you like turn your paper over and not read it and just talk to me for a minute because I think you have a really cool, amazing journey.

And I would also say for me. You out of, out of the pitches we've heard so far, you have, even to me, the reason you came, in short, you have such a good hook that I would even employ sort of, there's a, there's a trick that some of my filmmaker friends do, which is they know they're gonna do the 92nd pitch, but they really have a 32nd one ready for the lean in that Meg is talking about.

So like, I would've been like, and I don't know your whole story, so thank you for even sharing as much as you did about your story, but there could be a version to, to pose a question at the beginning. Like, have you ever had a minute where everybody loved you for something, but it was something that you were the most afraid of?

A long time ago, I was in therapy, da da da da da. Like, there's a way to do it. And, and somebody would be like, really? Wait, what? Tell me that. So like, sometimes speaking from the heart, not reading it, but also having your quick, quick 32nd grabber is even more effective. And that isn't necessarily what we're working on today.

'cause we wanna have a beautiful 90 seconds, but. I agree, but it's so –

Meg: –good to open with a question. Yeah. Because you're immediately gonna get people to lean in, and if it's a question about them, the listener, they're gonna immediately engage. Right. So, and now it's, and it's per, and then it moves into the personal.

Mm-hmm. So I just think for everybody listening, again, campfire performance, start with a question, start personal, however you can grab that person in. 

Sheila: Yeah. I, I had a student the other day at UCLA who, who truly has like one of those mic drop stories, like beyond, um, that she, she was, she opens with that and, and it just is such a grabber and, and it's all in a question form.

So, yeah. I think I, I just saw it work the other night amazingly with a whole bunch of guest judges. So, but let's talk for two more seconds about your actual pitch, which was beautiful and really interesting. I think I had a question about, um, your story. Is this already written? Do you already have this in script form?

Jess: So I actually have it in pilot form and I'm rewriting it as a feature because it was actually brought to my attention during my schooling that it would actually work really well as a feature. So I, I guess I'm taking the pilot and I'm now outlining it for feature. 

Sheila: Oh my gosh. Okay, so that answers my next question actually, which was, what you pitched for me felt like almost just act one.

It was like the jumping off point to what was gonna be this really amazing adventure. So my real note was gonna be, yes, you came in short. I think it's because I don't actually know what the movie is yet, but it totally is a pilot. I get it now. I'm all in. So, so I think I want you to, your homework would be, once you sort, what is act two to, to devote three sentences, that's all you need to give us.

Act two, like three key moments because what you, you filled up your pitch with a lot of backstory and a lot of decision making that would be really truncated to then the decision should she have this newfound fame. Blog is out there. Should she protect her mental health is really her big deciding moment of act one, right?

Yeah. So like you would ju you would sort of like really condense what your pitch was right now to just tee all that up and be like, so she decides she's in and Act two is we're going to have her balance this really tricky world of her mental health, et cetera, et cetera, and give us those examples. So, okay, so on that I'm handing it over to our other advisors, but that was my takeaway.

Meg: Alyssa Lauren? 

Alyssa: Yeah. Um, oh, sorry. Um, I actually agree with you as well, Meg. Like I did like the kind of summary that you gave, but I think it should be a little bit more dynamic when you're pitching, especially if you're pitching to a couple of people wanting to know a little bit more about something that's personal about you.

Um, and you know, it's something that's hard to do when it's personal, but I think giving it that other touch, that other personal touch. For the whole sum, for the whole, uh, pitch, would really bring the story to light and really bring, make it more dynamic and interesting. 'cause you did hook me in the beginning with it's coming of age, this is what, uh, what it's about, but then like, learning more, but of the details, I think what needed a little more work.

Lorien: Yeah. I really appreciated you sharing this and I would've like, I think what Alyssa you're talking about is infusing that sort of having access to the, what that felt like for you so that when I, you reach out to me, I can reach back out to you. And we're sort of holding hands in that, right. It's really hard to do right?

When you're sort of expressing some personal emotion, emotional thing, but that you're actually allowing for the connection to happen, which is hard on Zoom when you're on a podcast, but sort of allowing for the, like I have spent time in a. In a psychiatric hospital and like letting that land for just a second so that I can process that and reach my hand back out to you like, okay, I'm in with you.

I trust, you know, you trusting me, I trusting you to tell me this story. Um, the one piece where I bumped and where my writer brain started asking questions that I don't think you want me to be asking is. Why does her roommate, the one who accidentally uploads it, I was like, why isn't she the one, um, uploading it?

And so it sort of took the, uh, her, her agency away. And so then I started to think about possibilities real fast. Like my brain clicked over into some problem solving space. Like is that really what she wants? What is a relationship with her? Did she really accidentally do it? Is she out to get her? Is she a figment of her imagination?

Like my brain started spinning out on her roommate accidentally uploaded it. So I would just be curious, um, about you investigating and I know like you're turning from a pilot into a feature, just really how that happens from a bigger story point of view. And to be careful with your word choice when you're pitching so that you're not giving me any opportunity 'cause I'm in, but then I'm too in to, I can't resist the opportunity to start like.

The mechanics of the storytelling. Um, also I have, that's such a good 

Meg: –point. That's such a good point. 

Lorien: Sorry I have a thickness though. I can't help myself because she can't. 

Meg: But it's such a great point that I wanna, I wanna reiterate it for our listeners. Um, these short pitches, they really start to show if your character has agency or not, because they should be creating the pitch.

Their choices create the pitch. They're not reacting in the pitch because then I can't follow it. It's so interesting that your brain cannot follow everybody else making the choices versus we're gonna meet this person. This is what they want. This is what the, this is the lengths they're gonna go to get, get it.

And I realize, Jess, yours is different than that tonally. And she, but, but for your end of act two, you're gonna have to have something like that to drive this feature, right? Like she's gonna go for it and she is gonna try to be both people at the same time. And I know you think it's crazy, but here's why.

It's not because what, you know, however, you're gonna get us into that. So I think that's genius. Uh, in terms of agency. It's really, really clear in these 92nd pitches. Jess, I just wanna also call out that I love that you just brought your lava today. It has incredible value in terms of, I wanna go to the drink at the bar with you.

'cause I just find like you brought it, girl, you brought the lava. I wanna know you more because that was brave and you're an artist now, right? I think lava, you guys don't, don't underestimate the lava value and the short pitches because it does just immediately key me in and I know, and I know something about you and you were brave and vulnerable and I'm like, I need to know you.

Um, and the last thing I would say, just as you figure out your Act two and do this piece with that Sheila's talking about, think about the rel main relationship of this movie. And if you could pitch me those three lines that Sheila's talking about that tell me yes, the plot and her want and her agency, but really what relationship is this movie gonna be about, and especially for yours, right?

I was like. What the movie is gonna be in that relationship. Um, potentially, potentially, um, or relationships. Right. Uh, so that, just, just have a think about that too. 

Sheila: Yeah. No, no. 'cause my brain, my brain went to kind of Lorien. I know I'm not a writer writer, but I'm certainly a guiding force development producer.

I went to the, like, I'd be so mad at this roommate. But your v lava, by the way, Jess, you also did something else to even underscore what mixing your lava also is married to your theme of this particular story, meaning a voice to the voiceless, which is a super, super existential crisis for somebody to go through.

And so intense. However, it's not necessarily cinematic, which is why like, this is why Meghan and I always ping ponged well off each other when we talked together at UCLA because she'd be like, why do I care? And I'd be like, what's the poster? So it was like this ongoing beautiful dynamic. And so in my brain I'm like, voice to the voice list.

My little heart broke and I'm listening to you. But I'm like, I don't know how to film that. So that's why else I'm like in act two in these character dynamics, does she have a roommate falling out in her efforts to be super famous? Does she have to repair that? Like I wanted to understand that. But those are all things you can film.

So it, it's sort of a combo note, if that makes sense. Great. Great point. 

Jess: Awesome. Thank you guys so much. I really appreciate it. You're welcome, Jessica, too. Everything was. Great. And I took aggressive notes if you could tell. So, um, I'm very appreciative, uh, of your time and thank you. You are welcome Jess.

Jeffrey: And we can leave this off Jess, but I was just thinking to Lorien’s I think really great points. It's a totally different tonal comp, but Jerry Maguire has a great example of a character who uses his own agency to like make a big confession and then kind of pay for it from a plot perspective. So totally different movie, but could be interesting for you to explore how she can still own the choice to like put her voice out there but then have to kind of pay for it in act too, if that makes sense.

We can leave that off the show, but just something to think about is maybe some story. Great. 

Lorien: No, that's great. That's some story math that can help you out there. Mental health, right? The danger in mental health is if you're talking about a voice to the voice list and then well you're the mental health story, so you have to represent all the journeys of mental health.

Andrew: Right. 

Lorien: Which is not fair. It's also, um, when you're in a mental health crisis, you are often not. You don't have agency. So if it is the roommate who does that, how do you talk about a character who is going from a journey, journey of like not even knowing how to use her voice to someone who, who figures out how to use her voice so that she doesn't just become a voice for the voiceless, but a voice for herself.

So you can tell a story where things are happening to her as long as she has agency in, in a, it's like what Meg, you were talking about the movie Blue, right? She's actively trying not to engage, but there's action in that. 

Andrew: Mm-hmm. 

Lorien: There's a withdrawal. Um, so just in terms of, you know, I have experience with mental health issues and people who've been in psych wards too.

And, and there is a, there is a. Pause in it in terms of seeing themselves as whole, as being even capable of doing the things that are expected of them. So I think that is a really delicate and beautiful and extremely powerful story in terms of you can't just say, well you're cured now, which is right part of your story.

Go off before, be a human. And it's like how do you tell the story of someone who is, doesn't even know how to try, but is still an active character in their own journey. So I think, um, have fun. It should be easy, 

Meg: but that's why she's the hero, because she is going to be active even as she doesn't know how to be active.

Jeffrey: Well Jess, clearly we're excited about the idea 'cause we're all weighing in. So thank you so much for sharing and um, super exciting. 

Lorien: I'm here to introduce Boris as our final picture. Welcome Boris. 

Boris: Hi, thanks for having me. Um, so I'll be pitch, I'll be pitching my dramatic feature called zero. Uh, it's set in 1945 and we're on a small abandoned island in the war torn Pacific.

And it's the middle of the night. We see a figure wash up on the island, coughing out seawater. Uh, he's a young American pilot named Louis, and he's only 18. He's just joined the war a month ago. He's got no support on this island, and what he soon realizes is that there's a Japanese pilot named Jasu, also stranded here with him.

And so the two are forces cooperate. Have any hope of. Finding rescue, they'll need to search the island for a flare gun that they know is hidden somewhere. The main problem is that while Louis is very naive and he is not yet able to kill, Yasuo is highly experienced, and because of that, he's a lot more dangerous.

At the same time, both of them have lost siblings to the war. So both of them have a hatred for the other side because of that. But at the beginning of the story, only Isuo knows how to channel that anger into violence. And so that sort of, uh, sheep and wolf dynamic is at the heart of zero. And as the story progresses and they keep working together, the two slowly but surely start to trade places.

So Louis learns how to let this anger out and become more of a threat. Um, and at the same time, he's starting to put things together about Yao's past that are more and more troubling. Uh, so at the conclusion of the story in the final act, there's an explosive reveal that the two learn things about each other that could tear them apart at just the wrong moment.

Um, and at the end, only one of them ends up making it off the island. And to see who and why, you'll just have to read the script. Thanks. 

Meg: Thank you, 

Jess: Boris. Good job. Thank you. Great job. One minute and 22 seconds. 

Meg: Great job. Uh, Sheila, we'll let you start this last one here. 

Sheila: My gosh, it's always me starting now.

I was trying to share the wealth. Um, I'm happy 

Meg: you and Alyssa have to go first because you are the guest. Go first. Lauren and I can talk and talk and talk. You guys. Alyssa, get ready. You're next. Got it. 

Sheila: Um, Boris, thank you. This was cool. This is a cool, a cool story. So, um, I, I had some questions actually before I have thought thoughts.

So when you said it's, it's, it becomes clear, you know, sort of pretty quickly after Louis meets you Soro, is he, that your Soros proves to be very dangerous, so is he dangerous? In general or does Louis feel for his fear for his life, like I was a little confused about what you meant by dangerous 'cause I think it would help me understand what's happening in the movie.

Boris: Yeah. And I mean, dangerous in that neither of them trust each other and Yeso doesn't see a reason to keep Louis alive and vice versa. Like the only reason that Louis can't, doesn't kill him. He is. 'cause he can't, he can't bring himself to do it even though he wants to. Um, meanwhile Yasuo can, uh, and so when they first meet, there's like a shootout erupts between them.

Uh, and so yeah, he's dangerous in that way. 

Sheila: Got it. The shootout, I think these are small details. I know you were trying to make a tight pitch, but those little details, like when he washes the shore, he finds this other Japanese pilot who's also been downed and before anything else can happen, gunfight breaks out between them.

So then I understand immediately that they're adversaries. 'cause I was really confused since they have to team up to search for flare gun. So I was like, wait a minute, is it an American flare gun? Does Louis, why does Louis share that detail then? Or whatever. So my brain got kind of off track a little bit.

So I feel like I just, I need to use my rule book of what's our character's take on things. What's the world like? Was a little blurry. And also I like, I love the idea of a young kid who knows nothing about nothing and is already washed ashore having been another victim of this horrible war. But like, I don't know how we need to learn all that when we start a movie, when we're washed ashore.

'cause there's no room for backstory. And he now is, has an adversary who is shooting with, so I don't know that about him actually. 

Sheila: So I'm gonna presume he is a pretty skilled pilot who just got gunned down like any pilot and awarded. So also what would be really cool, think of this 'cause if you have a script already, like what are two telltale things when we first meet him, to know that he's like so green and so naive and, and, and is way in over his head and that wasn't so clear.

So I just, I just wanted to get a handle on that a little bit. One thing at the very end, just, this is another pet peeve of mine is. When I go to all these universities and I work with all these undergrads, they love to not tell us the third act of a movie or even the back half of the film. And they, they do this cheeky thing where they're like, you should just read the script.

And I'm like, so here's the thing. That's not how it works in the real world. And no writer goes into Warner Brothers and goes, well, you're just gonna have to read the whole script. So you can't do that in a pitch if it comes off like you are. Try, like, I don't know what you're trying to do. Get one over on us.

You're not. We've all read a million scripts. We have a pretty good idea how it ends. So your job is to show us that you've got the coolest ending and you're gonna be so awesome at it. And, and it's not my job to read your script. You're supposed to like lure me into it. So, so just, just like Sheila's pet peeve.

Um, so don't do that again. 

Meg: Um, and, and for you're not alone. I mean, literally. Oh yeah. One of 10 people. So we have to say it out loud because we would need our listeners to also know. And so I agree with Sheila. Your job is to say, you think you know the end, but you don't because this is what happens. And I go, geez, I didn't see that coming.

I gotta read the script because you must be a great writer. 'cause I never saw that coming. 

Sheila: And like right before that, you said in alo explosive reveal. And I totally respect that. You don't wanna give away your explosive reveal, like I get that. But what you can do if you give us a little bit more upfront, a little put, lay that pipe up front that they've had this shootout, it's clearly that so is super deadly.

Louis is way in over his head. But this is a guy who needs to team up with him to get to this thing. We're gonna know. When you say explosive reveal, like well, there's already a gun, Chekhov's gun is already in play. Is there more than one checkoffs gun? I don't know, but that could be a cool twist. So like you, if you give us enough setup, then I don't need you to spell out the ending, but you've, you've sucked me in so much.

I can't wait. 

Meg: Boris, why does the soldier who is deadly not kill the young pilot? 

Boris: So he tries to, and in their first meeting, he almost does. Um, but Lou's able to, like, he, he's, yes, so is injured more than Lou is. So he has a little bit of like a disadvantage when they start And Lou's barely able to use that and like incapacitate him for a bit.

And just in the first, you know, um, scene that they meet, knock him out. 

Meg: I think that's important for me to understand the story because if I don't know that he's so injured, I'm like, well, he's just gonna kill him. Why would he help him find a flare gun? Like all of the lo story logic starts to go off, versus this green guy has a shootout, we found, find out he's green from the way he's doing the shootout.

And then he goes over and he actually injured this guy. But he can't kill him. And now he's gonna do something even crazier and he actually needs this guy to find the flare gun, 'cause it's a Japanese flare gun. So he has to keep him alive. Like it starts to, it really starts to make more sense in terms of that.

So I think that's a super important detail to the whole engine of the movie. Um, and then I'm gonna be quiet because I other things to say, but I want it Alyssa, your turn. 

Alyssa: Yeah. So, um, I like that the nice intro into the setting. Like you, you really laid it out for us. I did get kind of caught up in those details of like, why is the more experienced pilot helping the less experienced?

Like how did this flare gun. Come to be like, how did they know it was there? And like why, even if like they had a shootout draw, like why are they still working together when they're enemies? So those were a couple of the questions that I had with your pitch, and it would really help to have like those minor details that Meg and Sheila mentioned to kind of tie those things together and to make it make more sense on why these two opposite enemies are working together to get off this island when, you know, you can just leave one stranded and it wouldn't matter to them, you know?

But, um, other than that, I did like the, how you built up the setting and I did like your use of explosive reveal, so that was good. 

Meg: So, yeah. And Hollywood parlance that's handcuffed. Why are they handcuffed together? Mm-hmm. 

Sheila: They're handcuffed. And by the way, Alyssa, the way you just rephrased it back to, to Boris made me think.

So Boris, what do you think your hook is 

Boris: in terms of, 

Sheila: of the story? Like what's your story hook would you say? 

Boris: Well, to me the most interesting about it is that. This, this guy, this kid, Louis, has every reason to, he, he know he's the first one to see SUO. He has every chance and opportunity to just kill him, but he can't.

And the only reason they're working together, I think, you know, you guys are pointing out that they don't have to and they don't. But the only reason that they are is because Louis can't bring himself to kill him. Um, and so that's to me, what's the most interesting thing about it? 

Sheila: In the No, no, that's super helpful.

So I think when you listen to the playback of this, when it's, when it's airs, you'll hear, I think all of our notes are leaning into what you think the hook is. And I agree with you, but we need to see that more, more explored. 'cause that's, that is the crazy hook is like a young soldier who's in fine health, who has every, everything at his disposal, including a gun to kill this Japanese pilot and instead chooses to keep him alive.

Like that's a cool dynamic, right? In the time of war. So, so we need to build a plot around our hook, right? Right. And that's what we, were all sort of in a different, one way or another, hoping to get, because for me, hook and character are married together, right? Like every good set piece, every good. And do you guys all know what set pieces are, I hope, which is like, what are the, what are the small miniature needs and wants that move the story forward that are all under the big umbrella of the big goal?

And in that big goal. If you have a really cool set piece, you learn something cool about the character because they are, they have to go through a, a miniature 10 page sequence that's really challenging or emotionally troubling with probably another character helping them or fighting them, right? And they come outta that little set piece slightly changed with a new perspective.

So you're gonna build an act two that helps us get Louie to the place for our finale of our explosive ending, right? So each little sequence is part of your hook because that's the dynamic that's changing them as they go. 

Lorien: So I may have misheard the pitch. 'cause the thing that I found the most compelling was the idea that you have this innocent guy and this hardened guy and they sort of switch places.

Mm-hmm. And that the struggle in their belief systems changing and then they're still enemy, like they would meet in the middle and then go farther in the other direction. For me, that part was the most compelling because there was loss, heartbreak, struggle, loneliness. Like there are all these really deep emotionally connecting things in that.

And it just feels like loss to me somehow. Right? Loss of icy innocence, loss of purpose, loss of power, um, and uh, identity. And that was the piece for me that really was like, well, okay, what's that? How does that look in the pitch? Give me an example of that, which is different than I think, so I may have misheard.

Boris: no, I agree with you. I think, yeah, that's sort of the engine of it is like the hook is, you know, that he can't at, he can't kill him at the beginning, and then the engine of it is like, can we create scenarios where he starts to go closer and closer in that direction throughout the story? So, yeah, and I, I can give him more examples of that too.

Sheila: Yeah, because one of the things I jotted down and everything I Lorien, I totally saw what you were saying. So I think, I think I was saying like the hook is what you're talking about, which is like this, this kid who is, has all the power in the world to kill somebody and can't at the beginning, but by the end he's going to.

So I think we all heard mostly the same thing. Worse. I think we just wanted more specifics and more great adjectives. But the jot, the thing that I jotted down, so these guys obviously have no history other than their, the history of their countries and now we're in a time of war. But I wrote down, you said, um, somebody puts together someone else's past.

And I was like, how does a individual past impact? What is our story? Because really it's sort of about nationalism versus humanity, right? If you go like one step bigger. So I was just sort of a little thrown by. What somebody would learn about a person that would make it worse than it in time of word, just you being from that other country.

So I just, I just was sort of curious about that. 

Boris: Yeah. Well, um, and this can also be clear, is like part of what the way this works is that at the beginning, Louisie doesn't really know much at all about Issu and so was really playing his cards close to his chest. And as he does start, as they do start to communicate more and open up, um, Louis starts to like figure out details about like, not just that this guy's a pilot, but that he might've been very good at being a pilot and that that might've meant that like at first, you know, he says that he's only killed like one or two people, but Louis starts to find evidence to say that it must have been a lot more than that.

Um, and that sort of then leads to the ending. So. 

Sheila: Excellent. So, no, so the past is, is is past, but it's not a typical past. It's more like past of the present meaning Right. As a soldier, his, his, his, uh, his wartime valor history essentially. Right. Got it. Okay. That's what I, so again, it's just all about being even more precise.

I think every word counts in all of these. I think that would be the big takeaway for all the pitches. Like every word counts. And when, when you run it by other people, which I always advocate, you get all these questions that are only meant out of love to like lift it up to the next fabulous version of it.

Which these are all in such a great place already. Like I think generally we got everybody like we got it, but like Boris, we just had questions 'cause we're all excited, we're all completely interested and invested and I'm like, I would watch this, but I just need to have a little bit more information. So it's, it's about, and Boris, 

Meg: I think yours would also, I wanna know why it's personal to you.

Um, especially 'cause it's World War. Whatever. And, and there's been a lot of those right now. The good news is yours isn't expensive 'cause it's too guys on an island. So, uh, that helps. But, you know, if for someone to lean into a World War II movie, they're gonna really want some, a big idea. What is, you know, what's the big idea?

Why is this personal to you? Why are you the one to write this? Is, is one thing I would really want at the top of your pitch. And also I feel like, and I just, 'cause I know this 'cause you are intern, um, I know this was a short and I think it's still sounding like a short, like it's, I think a lot of these questions are coming 'cause we're not hearing act two.

'cause remember the, the movies act two, everybody in Hollywood is gonna listen for act two because they know that's the movie. They're listening for the yellow brick road, right? So if your Act two is they have to go find a flare gun, I still don't know what the movie is. Are they just walking around an island?

Like, so like what is the action of act two and is it that they're starving is, I don't, it's still, I think that it still needs, even in a 92nd, it's kind of still showing itself that it needs that Act two clarity. I think. So for me, if it had act two clarity. Uh, and in terms of the action of the movie and what I'm watching, um, and the personal big idea upfront, I think it'll also really help.

Sheila: Meg, you made me think of one more thing. Um, actually two, which is also Boris, because there are so many World War II movies, but actually weirdly, this is not at all a World War II movie. This is about two very different personalities having to team together even though they pathologically hate each other.

And how they have to like either work through something or like work past it and like kill somebody, whatever the case is. So we also, I think we need to find a comp that is not at all a World War II movie, like not even close. And it is about, it is about a power dynamic between two people and a confined place and how like Lorien explained brilliantly, and this is why it's really exciting, we filmed this, not just recorded it, because her hand motion to me is exactly what describes it, right?

Is they switch places. Um, there's a lot of really cool small films about that exact thing, right? Like the, who is the Captor, which is, in this case Ro, who's the powerful one, the deadly one. The seasoned veteran who's really. Intimidating from the minute you meet him and the young innocent kid who just arrived in war.

And by the end they've switched. Like there are some great movies out there that we could comp that would, especially 'cause this is just two people, um, help everybody understand what you're really striving for. Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

Lorien: I think there are some plays that do this really well that may have been turned into, um, movies.

Um, I, I think for me, no exit came to mind. I know it's not the same thing at all, but sort of that structure of there is no escape. What are you gonna do with it when you all have very different agendas? Um, so looking at some plays that have been turned into movies can help because they're so small with very limited characters.

And it's all about power dynamics. 

Meg: Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's, that's, that's such a great, uh, advice there. Well, that is our last picture. 

Jeffrey: Thank you so much. 

Lorien: Thank you guys. You guys, it's so great. I'm so inspired. I love that there are all these brilliant stories and all you brilliant storytellers like working so hard right now.

Trying to make your stories better and volunteering to come on the show and share all this with all of us. I think we're really lucky to get to be a part of your process. 

Jeffrey: Um, Alyssa, do you have anything else to share before we wrap out of here about AFF and the pitch competition? 

Alyssa: Yeah, I mean, our, our, uh, conference and, uh, festival's gonna be happening in October, October 26th through November 2nd.

And our pitch competition especially is that Thursday through Saturday and the Saturday, uh, October 28th is the pitch finale party, and that's where that huge group that Meg mentioned watches all of the finalists, um, pitch while having drinks. So that's what's going on here at a f.

Meg: Great. Awesome. Thank you everybody. Thank you so much for being here. We really appreciate it. And thank you especially to all, all our pitchers. You brave souls. So 

Lorien: generous. Thank you for letting us take–

Meg: Incredibly generous. Yeah. 

Lorien: Yeah. Thank you for letting us talk about your pitches right to your face.

Sheila: Yeah. I mean, it's super brave. I can't even, so thank you. Thank you. 

Meg: And thank you Alyssa and Sheila for your expertise in coming on and, and helping our pitchers and helping our audience learn how to elevator pitch. So thank you so much. Thanks so much to Sheila, Alyssa, and our pitchers for joining us on today's show.

Lorien: We hope that you all are getting excited for the Austin Film Festival. We are, and we have some really exciting plans for TSL this year at Austin Film Festival, including our usual story workshop meetups.

Meg: We've got a party at the Stephen F. Austin Bar. We did it last year and it was such fun. We just, I mean, right Lorien like we, yes, we had so much fun.

So we'll have some TSL and final draft swag and a raffle including a winning a script consult with Lorien her I, and we're gonna do this Saturday night before the pitch contest and after you can always come back. Um, and we joined up with Final Draft because, you know, final draft is what Lorien and I use and what, I dunno, every pro I know uses because it's really the industry standard and I would be lost without it because it means I don't have to focus on formatting, which is great to procrastinate, but we should all be focused on writing.

And you know, for our beginning listeners do know that final Draft will also have a booth at AFF. So definitely go talk to them 

Lorien: and make sure to stay tuned into our Facebook group and Instagram, where we'll be making additional AFF announcements and you can find a link to purchase your AFF badges.

In the description of the episode as well as we'll post a link on the Facebook group and the Instagram as well. So we are very much excited about a FF this year and seeing all of you, and remember, you are not alone and keep writing.